So once again I am fighting my own deadline to get my newsletter out within the next few hours.  AND once again I am working on a last minute blog.  Actually this is my third attempt at a blog. My first one was actually done over a week ago. It was titled “Have you been HACKED”?  I thought it was really cute! I was going to talk about how to protect your energy during these crazy times.  But then I changed my mind as one of our Spiritquest Family members is currently dealing with some of the worst challenges life can possibly throw at you. That got me thinking about how we just don’t seem to ask the “right” questions in life.  Questions like;  How are you?  Is there anything I can do for you?  What do you need?  I wanted to write about how when people are dealing with the most impossible of challenges giving advise isn’t always the best idea.  I wanted to share some ways we can truly assist each other through the hardest of struggles.  I had THAT blog all ready to go and then I went to the bank!

I was doing my routine weekly banking and while I was at a stop light I was scanning through the channels hoping to find one of my favorite songs.  As I pulled into the parking spot my radio was still scanning.  I went to get out of the car when  my attention was caught by the President in the middle of a speech.  I immediately thought to myself “OMG now what…not again”!  I could just tell by the tone that something horrible had happened AGAIN.  Part of me thought I should just get out of the car and just not listen.  But my heart was already hurting without even knowing what had happened and my soul already knew so I had to listen.

I turned the volume up and heard the words “shooting in Las Vegas”.  I have to tell you that I truly think I have actually just become completely numb to it all. There are just no more tears left to shed, no more anger to tap into, no more shock, no more questioning why.  I am just at a place of absolute….I honestly don’t even know what the word is!  My mind instantly went to all of the other shootings and I replayed all the news footage in my mind. “We all know what is next”, I thought to myself.  Everyone will take sides.  The mentally ill vs right to have guns.  We will spend weeks analyzing every thing to see what went wrong and on and on and on.  We will share in every detail of every victim as we plaster their faces on the TV over and over and over again!  Yet, the sad fact is that even after all these shootings and all this time NOTHING EVER CHANGES!

I sat in my car thinking about the last time I went to the movies.  I instinctively started looking around making a note of the exits.  I remember thinking to myself, “is this really the world I live in”?  I have created such a wonderful space in my life of peace, love and light yet the darkness and evil creeps in without being detected.  I remember thinking that I could NOT allow myself to feed into the fear!  It seems that has become a full time job in itself…not feeding the FEAR!

I have joked around for years about how I think I took a wrong turn and ended up on this planet (as I can’t imagine I “chose” to come here). Of course my soul knows better than that.  I do know I chose to come here.  I came to help. I came to hold the light in the darkest of times. Like many of you, I sometimes struggle to get through the day.  However, I know that it is those of us who REFUSE to get swallowed up by the darkness that will truly bring about the change we all hope and pray for.

There are so many people just struggling in ways many can not even imagine. I feel it. I get it. I can totally relate to it. One minute I am consoling someone who has just lost a loved one and the next moment I am listening to someone complaining the sun is to bright. There seems to be no balance, no respect, no appreciation and no solutions.  I want you all to know that you are NOT alone!  There are many MANY of us who feel like you do!  There are many of us who just wish to live in a world of respect and love and peace.  There are many of us who feel there are no answers.  There are many of us who just need to retreat into the calmness of our own worlds even if just for a moment.

I honestly have no answers anymore.  Until we all wake up and stop fighting about absolute nonsense nothing will ever change.  And the problem is that one persons nonsense is someone else’s entire world.  So for now I do what I always do.  I take a moment to pray for all of those who have been lost.  I apologize to the world for the civilization we have become.  I remind myself that, while I may never understand it, each and every event happens for a reason.  Then, finally, I look around me and ask “what can I do to make the world a little better for someone today”.  I acknowledge that at the end of the day I am the only one who can decide which wins….the darkness or the light!

Sending you all much love and light and asking all of you to hold your light NO MATTER WHAT.