I have thought long and hard about writing this blog. I remember back in the day when I would just write whatever I was thinking and feeling. However, we are now living in a completely different time. Now, it seems you have to watch everything you say as everyone is so easily offended. Everyone wants to be heard but not everyone wants to listen. Everyone wants to be respected but not everyone shows that same respect back. Everyone wants you to accept them, their beliefs and ideas without question but they do not do the same for others. This is our new world. Luckily I remember the good old days… so here I go!
I have to tell you being a psychic for a living has not always been a walk in the park. In fact, I spent many many years back in NY “proving” myself. I often talk about the past when hotels wouldn’t let me hold holistic events and newspapers wouldn’t publish my ads if I mentioned the word “psychic”. Ahhh, fun times! Luckily I am a very stubborn person. Although, if I am being totally honest there were days when I absolutely let it get to me. However, I just kept on going. Before I knew it, years had passed. I had written for several different papers, co-hosted a couple of radio shows, hosted my own local TV show, and even had the pleasure of doing paranormal investigations with SCARED, a TV show from Staten Island (full disclosure: my cousin founded it). But I didn’t stop there. I went on to write five books, create four guided meditation CDs, and develop my own line of Essential Oils. Truth be told, the best part of all those years was being able to do what I absolutely love doing, helping people. I really felt I had proved myself and gained the respect of all those nay sayers. So what did I do next? Bask in the glory of all I had created and accomplished? Nope! I moved!
When I left NY and moved to NC way back in 2013 I honestly had no idea what was going to happen. I have to tell you moving all by myself and starting all over was not the easiest thing I have ever done. Once again I was back to square one. It was okay because I was up for the challenge. I loved where I lived and I was determined to become part of the community. A few short years later and there I was part of the community I loved so much! Mission accomplished! And you know what comes next, right?
Yes, I would move AGAIN! This time wasn’t so easy. My first year in my new location was filled with a lot of personal emergencies that took me away from the business. I would constantly hear things like, “it must be nice to run a business and never actually be at the business”. I would just smile and ignore it as what was going on was personal and quite frankly no ones business. I would constantly be asked questions like, “Do you really think you can do well here”, or “Do people here even accept what you do”? Um…what I do? You mean HELP people? It is funny because it doesn’t always seem to matter how long you have been in your field or how successful you truly are. When you start over somewhere you are treated as a newbie. I don’t know why some people are so rude but they are. Recently I was talking to someone about possibly doing a story about Spiritquest. I was telling them what a huge milestone 25 years was especially in my field. The person told me that just because I had been in business for 25 years I hadn’t been in business in my current location for 25 years. What???? Very interesting.
I am not sure why some people can not play nice. Back in the day I would work really hard to prove my worthiness to them. However, I am a lot older and a lot wiser. It took me years to get it but now I know that the only one who defines my value is me. I learned to surround myself with those who see and appreciate my value and to quickly move away from those who don’t, without judging them.
Recently I was taking with a client. Actually I had the same discussion with so many clients over the last few weeks that I decided to write this blog! Anyway, we were talking about dealing with people who are disrespectful, those who do not honor your views or beliefs, and those who can honestly be quite rude. I was sharing some of my experiences as a psychic and telling some of the details of the judgement I have faced (and CONTINUE to face). Then I shared what I think is one of the most valuable things I have learned:
Everyone is living their lives based on their own experiences. Their fears and their judgments have nothing to do with you. If you weren’t in their path, someone else would be. The key is to not take it so personally. The challenge is to not treat them in the way that they are treating you. Do not address disrespect by disrespecting them back. Instead treat them as you would want them to treat you. It is not always easy.
Now I know I am going to get an email from someone lecturing me on how the world is a wonderfully positive place and they have never had any of these experiences. GOOD for you! However, I talk to dozens of people each and every week and there are a lot of people who are really struggling right now. They are getting all caught up in proving and defending themselves to those who do not understand them. They are wasting all their time and energy trying to convince those people to see things differently. Well I have another approach. I was raised to respect everyone. I don’t need to agree with you but I need to respect you. Can you imagine what a wonderful world it would be if we all truly respected each other? If you want respect you have to give respect, even to the ones who wrong you and judge you. What if you just respect their right to be and believe whatever they want? What if you wish them all the best and send them love and light? What if you surround yourself with those who do get you? What would things look like for you then?
I want to sincerely thank all of you who have been riding this wave with me through all of these years, 28 years in the field and 25 PROUD years as the founder and owner of Spiritquest! That is huge!!!! I want to thank all of you who continue to show your love and support. I especially want thank those who judge and challenge me. Thank you for reminding me of who I truly am and what I stand for.
ps… if you would love to do a feature article about Spiritquest or have me as a guest on your podcast just send me an email contact@spiritquestnc.com!