In the month of May we celebrate Mother’s Day. What better time to talk about one of the things moms do best…nurturing! When you look it up in the dictionary you will see it says: care for and encourage the growth or development of, help or encourage the development of, cherish (a hope, belief, or ambition). We are so good at nurturing others but what about ourselves? How many of you reading this still hold onto the belief system that nurturing yourself is selfish, makes you a non-caring individual or means you don’t have your priorities straight?
One of the biggest issues I see with people is that they do not put the same amount of energy into themselves as they do others! Old belief systems, old patterns and guilt take a front seat while most people put themselves in the back seat. Why? Where does this belief system come from? Why can’t we let it go? What purpose does the guilt serve? Most importantly what would happen if you did make yourself a priority and start nurturing yourself? What would that look like? How would that feel? Whew…lots of questions but no worries I am here to walk you through it.
Our belief systems
Beliefs are generally formed in two ways: by our experiences, inferences and deductions, or by accepting what others tell us to be true. In fact, most of our core beliefs are formed when we are children! Yepper! I will let you sit with that for a second! Did you know that you personality was formed by the time you were 5? Oh boy!
Why can’t we let it go
It seems to me that once we form a belief system we hang onto it for dear life. We never seem to allow ourselves to think, “Hey, I don’t think this belief system works for me anymore”. Instead we look for what is wrong with us! We ask, “Why can’t I make this belief system work”? We think there is something wrong with us. Is there? Maybe the truth is that it is nearly impossible to be truly happy living according to someone else’s belief system? In order to let it go we have to be willing to let go of the belief that there is something wrong with us. We have to give ourselves permission to revamp our belief system.
Guilt
Ahhh….that wonderful guilt. Have ya ever asked yourself what purpose does guilt serve? Honestly, how does focusing on feeling guilty change anything. I think if we could all just agree that feeling guilty is not helping us in a pro-active way it would be easier to move forward. If you are feeling guilty about something instead of focusing on it for days and beating yourself up, why not ask yourself what you can do in a positive way to change what you are feeling guilty about? Ahhhh….getting pro-active! That feels better already!
Time to day dream
Just take a moment to close your eyes. Just for a moment imagine that you had no responsibilities, obligations or people around you demanding things. Just for a moment allow yourself to image that for the next 30 days you had absolutely nothing to do. Imagine that you also had the time and money to do whatever you wanted to. What would you do? What would your next 30 days look like. Pretty awesome, right? Now take that vision and adjust it to your present life! Maybe you can’t jet-set off to Paris right now but I bet you can spend an hour this month at an art museum! Maybe right this second you can’t quit the job you hate but I bet you can go take a pottery class or do something you truly enjoy! Maybe you can’t solve all your family squabbles but I bet you can set the do not disturb setting on your phone for a day!
The bottom line is that you are great at nurturing everyone around you! It is now time for you to get great at nurturing you! What better time then the month of May…the month of Mother’s Day to make a commitment to start nurturing yourself!