I am writing my blog from the sunshine state (that would be Florida).  Kyle and I are on our first “official” vacation since we met 5 years ago!  It is also the first vacation I have taken since moving to North Carolina! I don’t think I have ever been at a loss for what to write about but I am on day 4 of vacation and my brain is in relaxation mode.  So I decided to ask my nephew Logan to help me. By the way he is four. On my first attempt he didn’t even look up from his video game as he informed me, “I don’t know how to write an article…I don’t even know how to type….I have no idea how to do that”. It took a little persuading but after I assured him I would do the typing and all he had to do was answer some questions he was willing to help me out.  Honestly I think he just wanted me to stop talking so he could get back to focusing on his video game!

So here is my…. “ASK A FOUR YEAR OLD”

Question 1:  What do you think big people should do to be happy?
Logan:          Play video games

Honestly, I think he may have something here!  Have you ever watch someone playing a video game?  They are so involved in what they are doing that nothing else matters.  It is like a complete escape into another world. I think the same goes for watching a movie, reading a book, painting, hiking, etc.  I think happiness requires unplugging once in a while. It seems simple enough, doesn’t it? So why don’t we do it more often?

Unplugging requires setting strict boundaries and saying NO.  It is kind of funny how many of us have a hard time saying no.  Kids don’t have a hard time saying NO. No, I don’t want to go to bed right now!  NO I don’t want to eat that! NO I don’t want to take a bath. They have no problem letting you know what they don’t want to do.  Yet as adults we guilt ourselves into constantly doing things that we don’t want to do! I think the key is to remember that unplugging makes you a happier person.  When you are happier you share that happiness with everyone around you! So say NO, set those boundaries and make time to unplug! Your happiness depends on it!

And if that doesn’t work… go watch the Flamingo’s!  You can’t watch a Flamingo and NOT smile!

Question 2:  What should someone do when they are sad?
Logan:         Give their mommie a hug.

The kid is a genius!  How many of us isolate ourselves when we are sad?  How many of us just disconnect from the world (and not in the good way I described above)?  It is so important to have that human contact! It is amazing how a simple hug, comforting words or a someone lending an ear can be to help you shift from sadness to a feeling of hope and strength.  

After decades of doing readings for literally thousands of people I still find fascinating how many people think they are the only ones who feel a certain way.  We all seem to think everyone else has it all figured out. We seem to think everyone else is stronger, smarter, happier and on and on. We think we are the only ones who make such mistakes.  It is because of this that we tend to isolate ourselves and not share our sadness. We are embarrassed or we feel others can’t relate so we keep it all in. I am here to tell you first hand that whatever you are going through, whatever you are experiencing, whatever you are feeling….there is someone out there who is feeling the same way!  I can guarantee it! So don’t be afraid to reach out and share what you are going through with someone. Ask for that hug! Find that shoulder to lean on!

And if that doesn’t work… remember the sun always come out after the storm!

Question:  What should someone do when they feel very angry?
Logan:       I think you need to finish the article yourself.  I don’t know.

Hilarious!  He was very patient with me for the first two questions (as I was interrupting his intense shark video game).  By question three he had pretty much had enough of me. LOL! So I guess I will have to take this one on myself!

I joke around a lot that I am from NY and I am Italian!  So patience and getting beyond frustrated/angry are definitely two things I am quite familiar with.  I am still working on the patience thing! However, the anger thing I think I have gotten down. Here are some secrets:

1. Never allow your anger to put you in a reactive place. Always take a step back and allow yourself to process before reacting.  
2. Always ask yourself is this situation something I can control or change?  If you can’t control it or change it you need to let it go!
3. Always take time to figure out why the situation is bringing up so much anger. For me when I am furious about something it is usually because it is trigger something that I need to heal and let go of.  More often than not it has nothing to do with the person causing the anger. It usually is what they are bringing up!
4. There is a saying that goes something like this…”Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”.  Holding onto anger doesn’t hurt the person causing the anger it only hurts you. Let it go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And if that doesn’t work….go watch some fish. Nothing more relaxing than watching fish!  Trust me it really will help you to release that angry feeling!

Now speaking of happiness ….it is time for me to return to my vacation!  Hope you have enjoyed some of these quick tips from Logan and I!