It seems like eons ago when I would joke about my love life being something between a lifetime movie and a comedy show gone really, really bad. I remember how I would get that nausea feeling in my stomach around the last week of January. I knew what was coming…a month of hearts, chocolates, commercials of happy couples and all those horrible “I met my soul mate” movies on TV. Honestly all the talk of soul mates and OMG those annoying “diamonds are a girl’s best friend” commercials made me wanna scream. It was like a plot to remind me what a loser I was cause I was alone (at least that what it felt like). February, Valentine’s Day, the month of LOVE it all became my yearly reminder that I STILL had not found Mr. Right.

I spent so many years trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. Why was I always attracting the wrong person and screwing up the relationships with the right person? Looking back now it all seemed so obvious. In fact it was so simple that I completely over looked it. The truth was I didn’t feel deserving. Since then I have realized that most, if not all, of our problems come from not feeling deserving.

Think about a relationship that is just not working for you (and keep in mind this doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships but friendships, family, etc). Think about where your frustration is. Are you not being treated right? Are you not being heard? Are you constantly the one doing all the compromising? Are you constantly settling for less and less? Are you always making excuses for the other person’s bad behavior? And the big one….are you HONESTLY getting what you want from the relationship? Do you honestly think you are deserving of having a better relationship or have you just accepted that this is the way it is?

Now this isn’t about ending all the relationships that need improving. This is about understanding why they are not working. Truth be told if you have one horrific relationship you most likely have others (friends, family, etc) that are not working as well. You see when we feel deserving we naturally expect to be treated right. When we feel deserving we do not have a problem sharing our feelings, our hurts and our disappointments as we know we have a supportive partner, friend or family member who will listen without judgment. When we feel deserving we truly understand that all relationships require work and none are perfect BUT there has to be a balance (we cannot always be the ones doing all the work). When we feel deserving we find ourselves surrounded by people who also feel deserving, we work TOGETHER to make the relationship as wonderful as possible. Of course there is one thing we MUST do before we start focusing on the other person.

What if this year instead of focusing on our relationships with others we focus on the relationship we have with the most important person we will ever have the pleasure of knowing OURSELVES. What if we gave ourselves the gift of total acceptance? What if we allowed ourselves to embrace the many wonderful things that make us, US? What if we truly valued ourselves and stepped into that space of feeling deserving of great things? How would we change? How would our relationships change?

For so many years I thought I was “waiting for Mr. Right”. I realize now that I was waiting for me to feel deserving of having Mr. Right. At the end of the day it had nothing to do with anything other than how I felt about myself! Once I stepped into a place of feeling deserving not only did I open a space for Mr. Right to enter but I started attracting more positive fulfilling relationships all around me!

This month don’t worry about the flowers, the chocolate (okay maybe keep the chocolate…lol). Take some time this month to really think about the absolute amazing person you are! Take some time to think about all you have gone through! Reflect on how strong you are, embrace your weaknesses (as we ALL have them), learn to laugh at your mistakes and celebrate all your accomplishments! Do something special for yourself this month! Think about how you want to be treated and start by treating yourself that way! You are amazing and there is no one else in the entire world exactly like you!!!!!!!!!! You are one of a kind and you are PRICELESS!