How to Survive the Holidays Without Losing Your Mind (A Guide for the Soul)

Ah, the holidays. That magical time of year when cinnamon fills the air, twinkle lights fill our hearts, and someone inevitably fills Facebook with a heated debate about, well, everything.

It all starts with Thanksgiving, the official kickoff to the season of gratitude, gathering, and, let’s be honest, grit. Once upon a time, Thanksgiving was simply about giving thanks and eating way too much pie. But lately, even that has become a bit of a battleground. Some people debate the history, others the menu, and don’t even get me started on who dares to bring store-bought rolls. By the time the dishes are done, you’re ready for a nap, not just from turkey, but from everyone’s opinions.

So here we are, heading into the rest of the holiday season. It’s meant to be a time of joy, connection, and reflection, yet it can easily turn into a marathon of emotional endurance. Families are divided by beliefs, friends are split by politics, and everyone is secretly searching online for ways to set boundaries with relatives before Christmas Eve. But don’t worry, beautiful soul. You’ve got this, and I’ve got a few reminders to help you keep your sanity, your spirit, and your sense of humor intact.

First, remember that you are not required to attend every argument you are invited to. Just because someone brings up a touchy topic at the table doesn’t mean you have to take the bait. You can nod, smile, sip your cider, and mentally float off to your happy place, perhaps imagining yourself on a quiet beach with zero Wi-Fi and no political conversations in sight. Peace is power. Silence is strategy. And sometimes, the most spiritual thing you can say is, “Pass the mashed potatoes.”

For many, this season also brings the first holiday after losing someone they love. It can feel tender, confusing, and even surreal. The empty chair at the table says more than words ever could. There is no right or wrong way to do this. Maybe you set a place for your loved one, with a plate, or a candle, a photo, or a small token that represents them. Maybe you leave the chair empty, or maybe you start a new tradition entirely. Whatever feels right for you is exactly what you should do.

Grief doesn’t follow a calendar, so if you are not feeling up to the party, the dinner, or the gift exchange, it’s perfectly okay to say no. You don’t need to explain, justify, or feel guilty. Empower yourself to honor your energy. Healing requires rest as much as it requires ritual. Sometimes the most sacred thing you can do is simply give yourself permission to feel, to rest, and to breathe. Love never disappears. It just changes form. Even though they are not physically sitting next to you this year, their energy is still right beside you, present in the laughter, the stories, and the quiet moments in between.

And if you are going through a breakup or a big life change, you might notice the holidays can amplify that feeling that everyone else has it together. Spoiler alert, they don’t. This is your season to practice saying no without guilt. No to events that drain you. No to people who poke at your wounds. No to explanations. A simple, “Thanks for thinking of me, but I’m doing something different this year,” works like magic. Boundaries are not walls. They are fences with gates you control.

Give yourself permission to change things up a bit. You don’t have to do what you have always done. Book a retreat and go solo. Visit that friend you haven’t seen in years. Volunteer somewhere and pour your energy into kindness instead of chaos. You get to decide what this holiday looks like. Change up the day, change up the plans. It’s your life, your healing, and your peace on the line.

And since we’re talking about peace, let’s talk about protecting your energy. Every holiday get together brings with it a few colorful characters, the one who overshares, the one who critiques everything, and the one who believes it’s their duty to “educate” everyone else. Before walking into those gatherings, take a few deep breaths and imagine a bubble of white light around you, your personal force field of calm. As a matter of fact, make that bubble a mirrored bubble so all that energy just bounces right back where it came from. You don’t need to absorb other people’s chaos. Let it reflect away and keep your own energy clear and bright.  If things get heated, quietly step outside. Feel the air on your face. Ground yourself. And if all else fails, volunteer to do the dishes. Trust me, nobody argues in the kitchen.

When it comes to the holidays, the truth is you can’t control how others act, what they believe, or whether your neighbor insists on bringing her political casserole again this year. But you can choose your own energy. Be the calm in the chaos. Be the love that listens. Be the laughter that lightens the room. Even if you are surrounded by drama, you can still create peace within yourself, and that energy radiates outward more than you realize. Remember, how you experience the holiday is up to you. You can choose joy, stillness, laughter, or solitude. You get to decide how you show up and what kind of energy you bring into the room.

And while we’re at it, let’s not forget the holy trinity of sanity: gratitude, grace, and giggles. When all else fails, find something to be grateful for, even if it’s just your stretchy pants. Offer grace to others and to yourself. And don’t forget to laugh. Laughter clears energy faster than any smudge stick.  Speaking of smudge sticks... here’s my shameless plug. Our custom “Go Smudge Yourself” smudge sticks make the perfect gift or peace offering. Tie one onto that bottle of wine you’re bringing and you’ve just nailed the ultimate holiday combo of humor and healing. They’re available now in our online store.

At the end of the day, the holidays were never meant to be perfect. They were meant to be meaningful. So whether you spend them surrounded by family, friends, or your cat in a Santa hat, remember that love doesn’t require agreement, and peace doesn’t require perfection.

This year, may your heart be light, your boundaries strong, and your spirit grounded in kindness. The world doesn’t need more people who are “right.” It needs more people who are real and willing to love anyway.

So here’s to not just surviving but thriving thoughout this holdiay season!  My you enjoy the holidays without losing your mind. Go make yourself a cup of cocoa, light that candle, and remind yourself that you are the calm, you are the light, and you’ve got this.

Oh, and P.S… this year, skip the annual “hunt for the dead bulb” adventure. Throw out those old Christmas lights and get yourself a fresh set. You were meant to be the light, not spend all night searching for it.